Joel Antik Presents TOP RANK - HEAVYWEIGHTS

Hello there everybody, Joel Antik here! Media personality for all things MMA! And also Mendoza proclaimed King of dick sucking! I've decided to cheat a little and do a little run up rankings on the big boys today! The heavy hitters, the tubbies, the cardioless freaks! You know, them heavyweights! I felt that the timing is perfect, seeing how we've made it to the round of 16 in our HW tourney! Great fights are about and there's no doubt all of these guys today have made our list, otherwise it wouldn't really be a TOP RANK would it? Anywho, lets get started. Disclaimer, this is my opinion! Trust that I'm trying to suck as least dick as possible. I know I can be overly passionate about my declaration of fanship for great fighters, but I'm truly trying to remain as unbiased as possible. As any respectable reporter should. Well enough shenanigans, lets go!

#5 Jamin Anderson (9-2)

Starting off the behemoths is Mr. Jamin Anderson. A man known as the 'Bone Crusher' who exploded onto the amateur HW scene by knocking out his opponent Jason Hancock with a perfect uppercut in his debut. He followed that up with a kimura submission victory against Leandro Franca in his second fight. Truly living up to his nickname, he's out to crush some bones without any remorse or regard for human life. Anderson also boasts a very solid clinch game, which is something he can reliably utilize to help him punish his opponents. Although he hasn't really shown much finishing ability outside his first two fights, he's shown that he can at the very least dish out some pain and also receive some. He has some glaring weaknesses, which is mainly highlighted by his inability to finish and sometimes his tentativeness to press the action. Which, in all possibilities, are factors as to why he isn't undefeated and why he has two losses. He lost two unanimous decisions in arguably some lackluster fights in where Jamin didn't do just enough to show the judges he wanted it enough. Through all the difficulties that Anderson has faced he's picked up the slack as of late and has made it into the round of 16 in AFCs annual HW tournament. That in itself is a big achievement and Jamin is slated to face scary slugger Kenny Davis in the next round. (Kenny Davis, whom is a great boxer, I apologize, you were close to making the list!) They've already exchanged some words, so that fight will be a war, without a doubt. Winner of that fight will move on to the round of 8! And of course, if Kenny Davis finds himself victor of their match, he'll definitely make TOP RANK! Anywho, Jamin Anderson is a tough fighter who's very well rounded. His strategy may be questionable at times, but his 9 wins don't lie. With 11 fights under his belt, he's probably the most 'seasoned' HW amateur on the AFC roster.

#4 Abe de Groot (7-0)

At #4 we have the Tower of Power, Abe de Groot. First off, this guy is a GIANT, a human skyscraper! What is he? Seven feet tall? Or close it must've been when I had to look up when I was talking to him the other night. This guy has some killer reach and he's a kickboxer by nature, which works PERFECTLY for a man of his physique. Abe knows he's tall and he knows how to utilize his freakish size. I don't believe anyone else in the HW division is even close to him in terms of reach and height. Why not abuse what God gave you? In this case, Abe de Groot did it with style and grace. You guys ever heard of left kick hospital, right kick cemetery? Yeah me neither, it must just be me imagining some shit. One of the Mendoza brothers slipped me a brownie and it wasn't a normal brownie and yeah you know the rest, but that stays here okay? But yes, de Groot kicks with flair! He's bringing kicks back in sexy fashion. Leg kicks? My god, have you seen this guy chop legs down? Bone shattering kicks. Shins made of steel I bet! Body kicks, liver kicks, and the oh so glorious INSTANT HIGHLIGHT head kicks! You can't tell me that he isn't just fun to watch. I have one knack about him and that's his ground game. I've yet to really see Abe tested on the ground, and I'm intrigued as to how he'll be able to fend off his back. As expected, Abe de Groot made it into the round of 16 of the tourney with relative ease. Some brutal pain he put out on the way though. The Tower of Power is indeed powerful. Powerful enough to grab a #4 spot. I am intrigued as to how he'll fare in the next bout. I've heard rumors that he's been training out of Apex Fight Team with all them crazy EuroAsians!

#3 Templeton Crumb (8-0)

It just seems to get tougher and tougher to rank as we go up. At #3 we have Templeton Crumb, or KXNG CRVMB as he refers himself to. This guy is a boxing standout. Great technical aspect in terms of sheer punching skills. Crumb exploded onto the amateur scene with a third round KO by shovel hook against Yukihira Nomura in his debut. However, comparative to Jamin Anderson, it seems like Crumb also lacks the finishing touch. Every since that great debut, Crumb hasn't been able to put anyone away since then. Don't get me wrong, he's been on the winning side of very lopsided decisions. I just like to believe that he prefers to just beat the will out of his opponents to teach them a lesson. He's here for the crown, hence why he feels like he is the king. No lack in confidence here, which is great for fighters of course! It's just weird to see heavyweights unable to finish one another. They're heavyweights after all! I expect giants to fall hard fast! It's been an absolute breeze so far for Templeton Crumb in his amateur career. No one has been able to even get close to winning against this young standout. His boxing is just too good. The sweet science is just oh so sweet. I'm just saying, this HW tourney is going to be a treat to watch. Crumb isn't out here for scraps.. or crumbs! Get it? GET IT?! CAUSE HIS LAST NAME IS CRUMB?! Yeah I know, I do have a sense for comedy, or that's what I like to tell myself before I go to bed each night. Crumb's out here to rough some folks up and make a name for himself. He's currently on the right path, who's gonna be the one to test KXNG CRVMB? Time will tell.

#2 Bimbo Jackson (8-0)

And at #2 we have Bimbo 'Slice' Jackson. You guys may know him as the older brother of outstanding FW prospect Damarcus Jackson. Bimbo trains out of 420 Fight Club alongside the Mendoza brothers. He's in good company there's no doubt. It's no surprise to see him at #2, and arguably maybe even #1 depending on how you want to look at it. Bimbo's been a freight train since his debut. He's been dishing out huge punishment in each and every single fight without batting an eye. The elder Jackson has shown quality, vicious ground and pound, accompanied by a respectable jujitsu game. He's probably learning all of it from the guru Cannon Mendoza, who's also no slouch when it comes to grappling. His stand up is also a strong point in his game. Rumor has it he used to be a tough ass street brawler. I mean, I'd believe it. Bimbo Slice is the truth. Not much folks in the HW division can dish out the pain like he can. He's actually one of the few HWs that actually LOOKS and FIGHTS like a HW. So respect to that. It's never a boring fight when Bimbo's in the house, and I'd bet my career on that. Not that it's going anywhere soon. I give Bimbo the nod over Crumb for his ability to just take over fights and FINISH fights. As you see, I'm a fan of fighters finishing the fights. Cause, you never know, the judges could be taking a nap, or a fighter could be sucking them off. Trust me, I know. I'm the KING of dick sucking alright? THE KING. No disrespect to the guys that don't finish fights I mean. Just, finishing fights is just... spectacular alright? But Bimbo 'Slice' Jackson, keep beating some folks up. Just don't beat me up for putting you at #2!

#1 Dominicus Verboom (8-0)

#1 we have the ultimate HW finisher, Dominicus Verboom. Don't let his smaller frame fool you, this guy is packing MAD power. He may be one of the smaller HWs in the AFC, but he definitely is one of the, if not THE hardest hitter in the division. He's also known as the 'Honey Badger' and as we know, honey badgers sure don't give a flying frencherooskis about anything. Verboom has yet to leave a fight to the judges. Is that not just the craziest fact you've read so far? I will repeat it once more. He has yet to let a fight go the distance. Verboom gives every effort to make sure it doesn't even get to that point. Hell, he has YET to even fight in the third round! The Honey Badger may quite possibly be the best PURE kickboxer the amateur ranks has ever seen. The amount of oomph he puts onto every strike he throws is absolutely DISGUSTING. Sure, the other HWs on this list are dominant, but this is a whole new level of domination here folks. When you're sending your opponents to the mat every single fight, you're one bad man. Or you're on steroids. Or HGH, or testosterone treatment. I know I say this a lot, but Verboom is just the pure definition of what every fan wants to see in a fighter. Yeah sure, maybe his ground game is questionable, but honestly does it even matter if he's just gonna knock you out cold before you can even get him there? Hey Verboom, you keep finishing these guys, and this spot is yours.. and yours only without argument. #1 Dominicus Verboom.

On the Bubble: Inocente Cesário (7-2-1), Howard McGregor (6-2), Kenny Davis (5-1), Artem Magomedov (5-1), Nikolai Melikov (5-1), Yeong-Gi Kang (3-0), Yoon-Seok Lee (3-0)

And there we have it folks. TOP RANK HEAVYWEIGHT edition. Tell me! What did you guys think? Agree? Agree to disagree? I'm never right, but I'm also not always wrong! Ain't that a conundrum. I just know, after the round of 16, the ranks may shake up once more. At the end of it all, it just might be a whole new world! Who knows really. Anywho, share your thoughts everyone! Thanks again for reading! Joel Antik with TOP RANK signing out!